I have been working as a freelancer now for about 15 months. What began slowly, and with some trepidation on my part, has within the past month reached a volume, and level of compensation, that is actually sufficient for my needs. I am grateful, but the work has also had me up late at night and early in the morning to meet deadlines, and mentally exhausted at the end of many days. (Darn it, I’m not a twenty-something anymore!)
I’m not complaining—but I woke to a dream the other morning which reminded me that, once again, my rhythm of prayer has become a casualty of the busyness in my life. In part, this is because it’s also the rainy season here in the desert, and there are lots of thriving weeds that need pulling in the cooler mornings, in order to help stave off the allergies that we are suffering.
In response to the dream, I lay in bed and found myself praying, “Okay, God, drag me to my knees”—and then my left foot spasmed and I thought, “No! No more dragging, please, God. Entice me to my knees!”
You see, I broke my left foot in May, and spent the summer hobbling around the house in a black Velcro boot instead of striding the mountainsides in hiking boots as I had planned. Because the break occurred while I was dancing my morning prayers, I believe that it was my body and spirit—and perhaps God’s Spirit—trying to slow me down, to get my attention. I spent the summer doing my best to slow down, pay attention, make time for prayer, take a week’s retreat…. But as my foot has healed, I’m speeding up again, almost without realizing it—especially in the face of a welcome increase in my paying workload.
So this dream was really a wakeup call. I do not want to fall to my knees with another broken bone; I want to fall to my knees in gratitude for continued rain in the midst of drought. I do not want to put work first; I want to put God first, in order to have the strength of both body and mind to do the work well.
And so I re-commit to showing up for prayer each morning. To do God’s work first, then work for my “other” customers. I know that I receive from God so much more in “compensation” than any of my paying clients could possibly give.
So now, I look forward to watching for how God might entice me….
Has God ever had to drag you to your knees to get your attention?
Do you need to make a re-commitment to a rhythm of prayer?
How has God enticed you?