Last month, I was blessed to spend a couple of weeks with my mom in the mountains of Colorado. Although the town and the townhome were familiar, the territory was new in some senses. It’s Mom’s first summer there without Dad, who died in April. She and I are also recalibrating our relationship in his absence. I found myself slowing down and noticing different things in our time together.
For one thing, I was there long enough to establish a rhythm of life rather than just being there “on vacation.” We worked crossword puzzles over breakfast and went for a hike or walk most mornings. I edited (because this wasn’t just vacation time) at different periods on different days, and she read and rested or spent time on the computer while I worked. We enjoyed cooking meals and treats together.
Part of the gift of slowing and noticing for me was taking a lot of photos on our hikes and around town—as I always seem to do in Colorado. (At this point, I can’t imagine ever using all my photos on Instagram, even if I doubled or tripled the number of photos I share each day!)
We also did some important transitional things together. We sorted through Dad’s clothing and other belongings and took several bags to the local senior rummage sale. Dad’s cousin and her husband came to visit for a few days, and we scattered Dad’s ashes amidst the pine trees on the mountainside pictured above. We were together on his birthday—one of several milestones in this first year of letting go.
As I now contemplate a full autumn of work, I’m grateful for the chance we had to slow down together. Dad wasn’t with us—but he was. We are on the next stage of our journey, noticing what forms that will take as the weeks and months unfold.
What are you grateful for from this past summer? What are you noticing as autumn unfolds?
What a beautiful testament to the process of slowing down, aging, dying, living well in a new season of life. I am betting your mom is savoring those sweet moments together and pining a bit not only for her beloved but also for her daughter. ( mom advice: Give her a call today! ) I am grateful for a summer that was just busy enough with a trip to see my son and his growing family… new baby due in November so there is that excitement.And way too much time in PT managing old and cranky knees. I am anticipating knee replacement surgery when we return to AZ in early December – well at least an initial appointment with a doc I hope will see me as a good candidate for the surgery. This imposed slowdown as autumn approaches is reminding me to stay as strong/ flexible and careful as possible… to be grateful for new surgical techniques – and for my husband who is so kind about toting things up and down stairs for me! I find myself saying the Welcome Prayer a lot!!
Thank you, Joyce, for this reflection on my thoughts. My prayers are with you on your Welcoming journey of a new baby and old knees, and all the potentials that both these anticipations bring. Thanks also for the suggesting I call Mom, as it’s a great idea for all of us whose parents are still alive!
Peace,
Shirin
Thanks Shirin for the beautiful reminder to put relationships first. I find it so easy to fill my days and not always attend to the most important garden of family and friends. And how life transitions are full of grace and opportunity when we make space and open our hearts to them!
You’re welcome, Tom! I love your image of family and friends as a garden that needs tending. I just got off a Zoom call with my brother in Germany…speaking of such tending. May your own current life transitions be full of grace….
Peace,
Shirin